A Really Bad Day
I've had a bad day. I'm trying to lose weight, and my scale seems to have it out for me, it will not show me numbers I like. I've stopped drinking soda, stopped eating junk food, anything fried ( and I work @ KFC for cripes sake) and started to walk everyday! I'm just looking for a little recognition damn it!!!
Then I go to work, and get called into the office to receive a lecture about how I can not write bad things on my Facebook page about another employee. Now then, let me first comment that I'm pretty damn sure that you cannot tell me what I can or cannot say on FB! Hello, freedom of speech assholes! She said by putting my hate out there I put her in the middle of things because other employees were coming to her about it. Well, then I'd say THEY are putting you in the middle of it, not me. He is in high school but he is 18 years old, and as such a "supposed" adult. Then I reminded her that I had put in a request over a month ago to not be scheduled with him as it created " a hostile work environment". She said, " I can't and won't schedule around this, you just need to deal with each other." Pretty sure this is in the actual staute for suing your employer for harassment! Another manager in the office said, " I am a christian woman, and to me wishing for someones death, is just, well I think it's evil." Guess what?! I am not a christian, I don't think it's evil, bad karma maybe, but not evil. She said " You can't be saying threatening things like that!" No No, please don't get it twisted, I NEVER threatened him, I just put it out there in the universe that I would be pleased by his death! There is a difference. She said, " You and I aren't close, or friends or whatever but I'd never say that about you." Sweetie, there is a huge difference between not being close and actively hating someone! k? So then my manager says, " He doesn't have anything about you on his page." I was like, " I wouldn't know, he's not my friend so I don't look at his page. Cause I don't care!" Then they tell me I just have to stop the bickering with him cause they've all seen it and heard it and it's out of hand. 2 minutes later she's saying if I was having a problem with him I should have come and told them cause they can't know everything! WTF? Which is it, either you know or you are clueless, you can't have it both ways people!!! I explained that I don't engage him, he is constantly picking at me and that then and only then do I respond. They assured me they would be speaking to him as well, I just worked first, but that if we couldn't stop we would both be fired. I was like, "Cool!" Here's the thing apparently in PA even if you are fired you still get unemployment at the expense of your last employer. Mo fo's, please fire me, not only will I get unemployment but I'll sue and his ass will be unemployed to boot! They said his dad is really upset and they aren't sure what he's going to do. Ummm, I never posted his last name so I don't see where he can do anything. Besides this country's cyber laws are still in their infancy, I seriously doubt PA is leading the pack! Nonetheless I did go back through all my status comments for the past year and delete any that made mention of him. It just seemed easier that way.
Then I talked to the kids on the phone on my way home. Duncan didn't say he loved me when we hung up. That stung a little. When I called back and spoke to Tristan he told me he had forgotten what I looked like because he hadn't seen me in so long! He also said they all missed me and loved me. I couldn't speak for a second. I cried. I miss the boys all the time, but hearing that just breaks my heart.It's been over a year. A year has gone by in which they've played, learned, grown, had birthdays, haircuts, made friends, had fights with friends, done a million things that I know nothing about. They are growing up and I am missing it. I don't know when I will see them again. I miss Laura too, but she's not growing up, she'll still be the same Laura more or less when I do see her again. So much is lost to us from childhood. They will always remember that they love me, that I sent great gifts, but I'm not an integral part of their lives anymore. I was like a parent and now I'm not. It's really as simple as that.
So yeah, all in all a really bad day. Maybe it's the PMS but I don't think so, I think sometimes life just like to kick you in face to make sure you don't forget you're it's bitch!
Then I go to work, and get called into the office to receive a lecture about how I can not write bad things on my Facebook page about another employee. Now then, let me first comment that I'm pretty damn sure that you cannot tell me what I can or cannot say on FB! Hello, freedom of speech assholes! She said by putting my hate out there I put her in the middle of things because other employees were coming to her about it. Well, then I'd say THEY are putting you in the middle of it, not me. He is in high school but he is 18 years old, and as such a "supposed" adult. Then I reminded her that I had put in a request over a month ago to not be scheduled with him as it created " a hostile work environment". She said, " I can't and won't schedule around this, you just need to deal with each other." Pretty sure this is in the actual staute for suing your employer for harassment! Another manager in the office said, " I am a christian woman, and to me wishing for someones death, is just, well I think it's evil." Guess what?! I am not a christian, I don't think it's evil, bad karma maybe, but not evil. She said " You can't be saying threatening things like that!" No No, please don't get it twisted, I NEVER threatened him, I just put it out there in the universe that I would be pleased by his death! There is a difference. She said, " You and I aren't close, or friends or whatever but I'd never say that about you." Sweetie, there is a huge difference between not being close and actively hating someone! k? So then my manager says, " He doesn't have anything about you on his page." I was like, " I wouldn't know, he's not my friend so I don't look at his page. Cause I don't care!" Then they tell me I just have to stop the bickering with him cause they've all seen it and heard it and it's out of hand. 2 minutes later she's saying if I was having a problem with him I should have come and told them cause they can't know everything! WTF? Which is it, either you know or you are clueless, you can't have it both ways people!!! I explained that I don't engage him, he is constantly picking at me and that then and only then do I respond. They assured me they would be speaking to him as well, I just worked first, but that if we couldn't stop we would both be fired. I was like, "Cool!" Here's the thing apparently in PA even if you are fired you still get unemployment at the expense of your last employer. Mo fo's, please fire me, not only will I get unemployment but I'll sue and his ass will be unemployed to boot! They said his dad is really upset and they aren't sure what he's going to do. Ummm, I never posted his last name so I don't see where he can do anything. Besides this country's cyber laws are still in their infancy, I seriously doubt PA is leading the pack! Nonetheless I did go back through all my status comments for the past year and delete any that made mention of him. It just seemed easier that way.
Then I talked to the kids on the phone on my way home. Duncan didn't say he loved me when we hung up. That stung a little. When I called back and spoke to Tristan he told me he had forgotten what I looked like because he hadn't seen me in so long! He also said they all missed me and loved me. I couldn't speak for a second. I cried. I miss the boys all the time, but hearing that just breaks my heart.It's been over a year. A year has gone by in which they've played, learned, grown, had birthdays, haircuts, made friends, had fights with friends, done a million things that I know nothing about. They are growing up and I am missing it. I don't know when I will see them again. I miss Laura too, but she's not growing up, she'll still be the same Laura more or less when I do see her again. So much is lost to us from childhood. They will always remember that they love me, that I sent great gifts, but I'm not an integral part of their lives anymore. I was like a parent and now I'm not. It's really as simple as that.
So yeah, all in all a really bad day. Maybe it's the PMS but I don't think so, I think sometimes life just like to kick you in face to make sure you don't forget you're it's bitch!
I'm sorry that you had such a terrible day! It must be so difficult to change from parent to distant friend.
ReplyDeleteBut sweetheart, the thing with the guy you work with (who I won't name in case that adds to the drama) you gotta take a step back. Mentioning on a public forum that you would be happy if someone died (even if he is a hideous person) reflects really poorly on you. I don't mean to be mean or harsh, but I try to always be honest. That way you know I mean what I say when it is good stuff too. I'm glad you took it all down. I think venting is wonderful and necessary but not in a way that hurts someone else. Even if that someone is repugnant. It isn't about him (what he is like, what he has done, who he is) it is about you. Putting all that hate out there turns you into one of those hateful people that you always (rightfully speak out against).
I love you. Don't let some jackhole change you.
And that I think is more than my 2 cents. Maybe 50 cents? :)
thanks for the feedback Ang. You're probably right that it reflects poorly on me, but here's the thing..it IS me. I Do feel that way, and to me it's more important to be truthful than to be who I think I should be. I wish he didn't affect me the way he does, I wish that I was able to let things go more easily, but right now that's not me. As to it hurting him, I don't think it hurt him, because he dosen't care about my opinion, to the best of my knowledge. I dunno, maybe I'm just clinging to my theory because people are telling me I'm wrong and I don't like it! In any event thanks for the 50 cents :)
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