My baby is dead

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A week ago yesterday I was in the hospital a few hours away from miscarrying the baby I had been carrying for 15 weeks. She was born dead at 12 noon and I felt her leave me but never set eyes on her. Since then I've been told life goes on, I'm strong and I'll get through this, time will make it better...so many words that ultimately mean nothing.

Some days I feel ok and some days I want to kill everyone I see or start to scream and never stop. What makes it worse is that everyone seems to expect me to be ok now, not that they expect me to be doing cartwheels but it's like I am not supposed to be sad or cry anymore. Like if I do I am wallowing in my sorrow and not trying to be happy.

I am still sad, I am mad I want to die sometimes. I'm not sleeping, I don't want to eat anything but I do. I am tired of people expecting me to be what I'm not!

My baby is dead, and I am not ok.

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