In The Bedroom Down The Hall

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 If you don't know the song from the title please go find it and listen to it. I may not have given birth to my boys, but they are my sons. I love them with every fiber of my being and I would gladly die for them.  They're not kids anymore, Duncan will be 23 this March, Conor will be 22 and Tristan is 19 now. They grew up, and they're starting out on their journey as adults. It scares the hell out of me to think of them and of the roads they have before them. I absolutely trust them , and I know they will falter, they'll make mistakes, they'll have their hearts broken but they'll also have great accomplishments, they will win sometimes, and I can't wait to see them make those decisions.

    I do miss the days of them being little, I miss those little people and the times I got to spend with them. I am having some issues adjusting to the idea that I am a middle aged empty nester. Hell I'm border line a senior ffs at almost 50. The idea that high school was 30 years ago, and some of my besties have already died don't sit super well. I miss John like mad. I hope he would be super proud of me for finally going to college and working to get my degree. I wish I'd done it years ago, but I will take what I am given and be proud of it, because it is a major accomplishment damn it.

    My home life still has serious issues, namely in dealing with my sister, but I can't that's a seperate entry and frankly I am not in the fucking mood rn.

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