so here's the thing
I did not plan any of this. When I told you to move here I had no idea I was going to meet someone who lived 1100 miles away, and that I would fall for him, and wind up deciding to move closer to him. That being said, I still believe this was a good move for you, we both know my mom even with all her Paul insanity is way more there for you and the kids then your mom was or ever would be, and within one month of getting here you have a job, a house, the potential for a promotion, a love life, and several new friends. I understand that you don't think it's smart, the choice I'm making, I even understand that you feel I lied to you, even though I didn't. This all happened very suddenly, should that give me pause, maybe, but it's not. I'm sorry if you feel like I misled you. That was NEVER my intention, I wanted you here while I was here, I wanted this, I still want that, I just want this other thing too. I can't have both, so I'm counting on the fact that I have been friends with you since we were 16 to hold you to me if this turns out to be a mistake. I'm not asking you to approve or to withhold your obvious disapproval, just to be my friend. Is that really that hard to do?
It appears that you are writing these for the benefit of people who don't live here and therefore do not actually know the situation, in an attempt to put yourself in the best light possible. So let's deconstruct!
ReplyDelete"...within one month of getting here you have a job, a house, the potential for a promotion, a love life, and several new friends." The potential for a promotion vanishes once I am confined to working only one shift, as I won't be able to work nights when you leave. You know this. What you write is a love life you know quite well is actually a part-time temporary sex life. Several new friends is more like several new acquaintances. You are deliberately misrepresenting the situation so as to appear less in the wrong, and to make me seem much less fucked over by this.
Remember all those times you looked at friends and acquaintances of ours and declared that some people, once they reached a certain age, seemed to just grab whoever they could find and settle down, out of fear? Congratulations, this is now you.
Remember, also, all the times we said any time a person's family and friends all agree someone is making a huge mistake, relationship-wise, then they are right?
Nancy told me just told me last night that you are annoyed with her for telling me the truth of when you are planning to leave, so kindly cut out the "poor me, why won't you still be my friend" routine.
So, go. Live with a drug dealer shooting racist ex-junkie who lives in his mommy's basement and who can't work because of his mental problems. Who am I to stand in the way of true stupidity?
If I'd been writing this for anyone else, I would have linked it. I didn't enough said. And not everyone agrees with you, John thinks I should go, and supports my decision, and mom is wrong, I'm not annoyed that she told you the date, I'm annoyed that I didn't have a chance to figure out to tell you myself. Also while we're discussing my mom she supports my decision to go, she just wants to have him here first to make certain we do have chemistry BEFORE I move there, but regardless she will support my decision. Sean and Jean and Karissa and even Ang and if you choose to lump her in Maryam disapproving does not mean everyone I know think it's a bad idea. Eric and Rebecca support me,as well as John.
ReplyDeleteYou will still get your promotion because you are not limited to one shift, you can open or do a mid, and if you can't close that will not preclude you from being a manager. You would not be the first manager who cannot close KFC has ever had.
As to the temporary nature of your sex life, there is one acceptable male choice in Johnstown. If you found one I have no doubt you will find another.
Now to your description of the man I've chosen...he doesn't deal drugs, unlike someone you and I both know very well, and that means that unlike yourself, that while we are together he will not be a drug dealer, and my sister is a current junkie, so the fact that he used to have a problem is something that makes me proud of the incredible strength of character that he showed in getting clean for his children. He shoots, don't like guns but I have uncles, and cousins and all kinds of people in my life who do not have a problem firing a gun, and he doesn't live with his mother, so that's just stupid. And yeah, he has a medical condition which keeps him from working, you're seriously using that as an insult? I come from a family littered with people with the exact same condition, and have a form it of myself, and frankly dear the lack of a diagnosis does not mean your own family tree is any way free of that particular blight. You wanna say that my decision is wrong, fine whatever, but please do not make the mistake of believing that you know anything about who he is, or why I love him.
You should probably know that right after people tell you they support you, they whisper in my ear, "I know, it's really stupid, but don't worry: she'll be back."
ReplyDeleteI disagree that you'll be back. I have no doubt that no matter how wretched it is, you will stay there out of stubborness and not wanting anyone to be able to say I was right. It doesn't matter if you go and stay or if you go and come back. Once you have left, you are dead to me.
As for his character-or lack thereof-are you really comparing this to a relationship I had that ended ten years ago? Oh, and I was *ctually* inlove with him (you know, having met him face to face and all), not simply riding a manic high or having come off a string of unrequited crushes and grasping onto the next male who exchanged words with me. Also, I was in my early 20s. You should be old enough to know better.
Not to mention that everything I know about this person is what you have told me! Not like I'm making anything up here.
What you are doing vindicates my mother's every ill opinion of you over the years. How she would laugh if I told her this!
Kindly stop with the lies! You knew you when you were leaving for weeks before you accidentally told me. You should be ashamed. Instead you are posting self congratulatory quotes about risking all for *snort* love. Tell me, if you chum shark-infested waters and then jump in, are you taking an awesome risk for a superb adventure, or are you an imbecile?